Retards of the Universe

People that introduce themselves to you and mention their religious affiliation as part of their introduction are sociopaths and should be avoided at all costs. These people throw up ancient belief systems as a filter through which all communication with them will be processed while judgements are made upon your every word and action.  It is a form or pre judgement that they force on you as part of their internal system or moral code. All of this is done before you even have the chance to communicate with them. It is ultimately an abdication of personal responsibility and akin to racism when one really examines this type of behavior.

"Hi , I'm Dano, Mormon LDS..." or "Hi there, I'm Terry", born again Christian.." Think of the sheer arrogance inherent in statements such as these. I never asked you, sir, about your religious affiliation. We are not in church or temple nor are we on a retreat. These people might as well throw a bible or a copy of the Quran at you before they speak, it would be the same thing. If I am to communicate within their prescribed way, I should probably do an in depth study of their particular religious persuasion before I attempt to speak to them. After all, did they not just say that all utterances from you will be held up to the scrutiny of the ancient text with which they are so enamored?

Religious introductions give people the ability to immediately position themselves as superior to you in every way you can imagine. Superior in their ways of family life, business, lifestyle, personal habits, where you live and what you do every day as well as who you befriend and where you go on the weekends. That's a lot of superiority. It even extends to what you eat, when you eat it and who you marry. It really is a gigantic superiority complex  conveniently justified through a 'belief' system. The superiority is an impenetrable filter through which they control and impose upon you. One needs to ask oneself if you even have the right to  exist in the wake of such firmly held superstition. 

Racism is defined as views, practices and actions reflecting the belief that humanity is divided into distinct biological groups called races and that members of a certain race share certain attributes which make that group as a whole less desirable, more desirable, inferior or superior.  How is fervent, openly expressed and stated religious introductions not the same? The religious introduction types are guilty of mental racism. Their division of humanity is based on belief systems as opposed to physical attributes, making them mental racists. The mental racists are just as dangerous as the aryans or the muslim brotherhood. They have the justification of thousand years old texts, billions of dollars of support and brainwashing of the masses.  The mental racists might not openly call for violence however we all know they will violently protect their particular superstition. An example of this is the killing of abortion clinic doctors. Another example is the death of children in hyper religious cults who refuse all form of medical attention.

 The subjugation of logic and reasoning on behalf of the mental racists have made them the retards of the universe. They are a dangerous breed and should be confronted on every occasion of religious introduction. I am looking forward to the next time some hapless mental racist introduces himself to me as a cult member of one or the other 'religions'...I'll look him dead in the eye and ask him why he's bringing up his cult affiliation with me, just stare and wait for a response. I can't wait for the justifications.

Background Check

Background Check


The "Background Check" employers perform now a days has reached new heights of absurdity. From physicals to National Crime Information Checks, the requirements are endless. Credit checks, medical checks, physicals, drug screens and multiple interviews with different people are just the beginning. Psychological surveys and video testing BEFORE you get to speak to someone about the job have become the norm.

Some of the more outrageous examples include taking a 30 minute psychological survey for a job as a line cook. Mind you, line cooks make $10 -$12 per hour...This pre hire tactic has become the norm. Employers are demanding these 'tests' before you even sit for an interview! A business to business sales position at Staples requires a 20 minute psychological survey before you send in the application.
These 'psych' surveys are nothing more than dime store psychological wastes of time. These companies get sold a bogus indicator test that is supposed to accurately sum up a persons ability to succeed based on 50 questions...I should be selling these damn things, it looks like a good business to be in. The tests are bad enough however being subjected to them before they even glance at your CV is borderline illegal. I have a little extra time on my hands now a days, I'm going to find out the legality of this and begin a civil action if possible.

The 'credit check' is the next crock of crap they try to lay on you. Some employers actually have the nerve to request a social security number on the application! It makes me think, wow...people do this...I recently had a potential employer send me a rental application for an apartment. He asked that I "...fill it out completely.."(which included putting my wife's info on it), needless to say I didn't. I am not looking for housing or trying to rent an apartment.  The same employer had the nerve to give me a low ball offer, (for a high profile, technically oriented, long sales cycle) service, that would include the use of my personal credit card to fly around the country, rent cars and stay in hotels. These people are not from planet earth.. When I  look in their eyes and see the arrogant, self justifying way they talk to you- it's off the Richter scale.  They are delusional and I would go so far as to say - dangerous. They too need to be brought up on charges and beaten repeatedly with aluminum baseball bats.

The next insulting tactic employers bring down around you is the 'physical' and the drug test. I'll piss in a cup but you are NOT looking up my ass, and you will not grab me and make me turn my head and cough - completely unnecessary and just another way for the doctor to milk the insurance of the idiotic company. I am not a barnyard animal, nor am I a medical experiment - try it on some other poor bastard. This is a great example of the 'preferred' care provider of the company making extra income on the side for demeaning the general public. These medical types are also a big part of the problem. Screw them and their distant, holier than thou, "professional " attitude. I think a well crafted letter of complaint to the insurance carrier of the offending medical practitioner would go a long way to keeping the quack up at night.

The criminal background check is always interesting. Every application has different levels of tolerance for different crimes. Felonies are a no no however misdemeanors are ok - if not occurring in the last 3, 5 or 7 years...Marijuana is ok in California and Colorado - but not other states. The last bumbling excuse of a company I allowed to perform a criminal check from my social did not hire me so I am demanding a copy of the report. I emailed them and reminded the dolts of my legal right - and will pursue it until the half witted morons comply. They need to be raided by the INS - I could of sworn I saw some illegals working there, maybe a concerned citizen will make the call tomorrow.

The funny thing is, all the above atrocities are performed before they place the first call to one of your professional references. That's how completely inverted the whole stupid process is. The process is in and of itself its own little drama that has taken on a life of its own - completely separate from the position or your ability to perform in it.  It is a bogus tap dance that employers continually add more drama to - probably because half the people working there are so ineffectual that their primary function has become one of increasing the mentally vacant and useless parade of background checks.

Click Syndicate

Most writing is done on line now a days. There are many writing websites and many writers that contribute to them. It's actually a dizzying array of endless subject matter and genre'. The writers that are published on these sites complain that they don't make any money, their sites are never 'clicked' on and they are constantly trying new sites and methods. These writers just seem to throw their stuff out there and dream of being published in mainstream media with little or no effort on their part. There is definitely a lot of complaining and comparing going on...In response to this problem, I have come up with a solution that can benefit all of us 'writers'.

The solution begins with answering the question of what really are these alleged 'writing' sites? What is their motivation and how do they pay their bills? Do they exist to promote and help writers? Are they philanthropic institutions to benefit mankind and the literary world? Hell no, far from it.The writing sites on line are first and foremost advertising mediums. They exist primarily for the sole purpose of using your articles and stories as an advertising medium. They highlight key words and hyperlink to other advertisements. they scroll, link and pop up every conceivable advertisement known in the free world. I would wager that a lot of them are owned by major advertising companies. This is all fine and well as long as you know this up front.

Knowing it is one thing, doing something about it is another. Since each 'click' generates a small amount if revenue, (and you can't click and get paid on your own ads - even with a different computer from the same house)- the solution is to assemble a Click Syndicate. The click syndicate would consist of at least 20 or more participating writers with access to at least 2 computers with different IP addresses. Each writer would then participate in five writing sites, submitting articles at least once per week to each site. So the math works out as 20 writers, each submitting an article per week to five different writing sites. Each writer also has access to two different IP addresses / computers. That's 100 submissions per week. Now the literary jujitsu begins!

I take myself out of the equation and I get nineteen writers to click twenty times per week on the ads of my submission from 2 different IP addresses. 19(writers) X 20(submissions) X 2(IP addresees)X 5 different sites = 3800 ad clicks per week! Let's say we settle in at an average of 3000 ad clicks per week on my ads , from 19 different writers with two IP adresses each, from 5 different sites... - and that's just a small start...I do the same for them, clicking on the ads from their writing sites in the same manner. We ALL get 3000 clicks per week on the ads from each site. CPC rates or 'cost per click' rates range anywhere from .24 to $1.33, from what I have seen in my limited experience. Assuming a starting average of $.75 per click, (which is low) - we can see how our 3,000 clicks can result in a base salary of $2,250 per week. Multiplying this amount by 10X, (when the Click syndicate 'clicks' into high gear), we see the income potential skyrocketing to $2,250 per week....or $112,500 per year.

The above scenario does not take into consideration the increasing value of the 'clicks' as the 1,000 click per week benchmark is increased. Advertisers will pay more for these clicks as they see traffic steadily increase. The possibilities are endless. The Click Syndicate can be a self generating revenue base that increases the more its used. IP addresses would have to be scrubbed and replaced at random intervals to not attract unwanted attention. Non Disclosure Agreements would have to be signed and countersigned amongst participating writers. A business plan could be structured  that would include computer cost re-imbursement, a legal fund for perceived violations of law and other expenses. The writers would have to produce at least one piece of content per week which should not be too difficult for them. Local libraries could even be used to further increase the anonymous clicks from different IP addresses. 

I do not see any violations of law or ethics in this scenario. The alleged 'writing' sites are nothing but advertising mediums that cajole and lie to writers about their actual writing skills and their ability to make money. The advertisers in these mediums just want page views and clicks, so we give them what they want- and get paid for it at the same time! The writers apply literary jujitsu against the impostor writing sites and regain an equal footing in the merchant class to further their writing. All good.

New Words submitted to Webster

Clickpath : The order of computer clicks for any given procedure.  "The clickpath indicated to click first on the the link, then click on the corresponding section, then into the next form."

Dinosauric : Old , dated , ancient or not relevant. "Your suppositions are dinosauric and irrelevant."

Doucheromous : An idiot, dolt or otherwise mentally challenged individual whose actions are contrary to sane decision making. That doucheromous just cut me off in traffic."

Douchery : The actions of a doucheromous. His douchery was evident when he began to speak.

Rebill : The process whereby a person or corporation is billed for wasting ones time. "The doctor made me wait 45 minutes for my appointment, I will rebill him for my time."

Desaving : The act of going forward in time and not saving money. "The desaving rate of the populace has increased exponentially in light of the currency devaluation."

Bullshold : The threshold of acceptable bullshit spewed forth by an individual whereby all subsequent vocalizations become a mind numbing drone. "I have reached my bullshold with this person and cannot hear him anymore". 

PTED : Post Traumatic Employment Disorder - The post traumatic shock of transitioning from employment to unemployment. "The unknown intruder that locked down the building was suffering from PTED."

Kippers : Kids in Parents Pockets Eroding Retirement Savings - "It seems as though the kippers are opting to move back home after graduating college".

Cellsessed : The obsession with handling and looking at a cell phone.  "The 12 step program for cellsessed individuals begins at 6pm this evening."

Dronage : The presence of drones, (unmanned aerial vehicles).The coming 30,000 drones that will be in US airspace in 2015.The dronage was especially heavy this afternoon.

 

The Noise Delimiter

Noise is a very unwanted thing to deal with. You try to 'not listen' to it - however only the most focused can filter it out and commit to the task at hand. Engine noise on the road, screaming kids and surprise noise can really get under your skin. Decibel limits indicate noise thresholds but cant stop the screeching in your brain. Hearing the woofer of an approaching vehicle 2 minutes before you see it is always a special experience for your mind to scream thank god when it passes. The big noises are bad however since they are usually encountered outside and infrequently, like when helicopter gunships fly over your house, they seem easier to deal with when compared to the daily human and animal communication we must endure. In light of this, I am introducing the Noise Delimiter. The Delimiter is the Defining of the Limits of noise you are exposed to.

The Delimiter is like a hearing aid on steroids. It is smaller than a hearing aid and fits in the each of the lower ear canals, sold in pairs. It operates similar to a Blue Tooth however it is a transceiver, receiving a signal, altering it then sending it on its way. The Noise Delimiter has advanced reception and transmission ability whereby the reception and transmission occur almost simultaneously. Miniaturized advanced microphones and state of the art micro transmitters work in parallel to deliver a customizable user experience. The user hears everything as before, just slightly altered to remove the whine, the tremolo, if you will, from the offending parties voice, yelp, cry, moan or generally high pitched emotion laden screech. Let the Noise Delimiter introduce you to a hassle free hearing experience. You deserve nothing less than complete control of the unwanted audio invasions of daily life.

Uses for the Noise Delimiter are varied and include a defense mechanism from the highly pitched, overly emotional wailings of a spouse or loved one, an unruly neighbor or the annoying vocal stylings of a person on television. Uses also include speakerphone enthusiasts, co workers that seem to exist only to irritate and retail locations. Other uses include fire alarms- remember - you still hear the alarm- its just not pounding in your skull. Imagine the additional peace of mind the Noise Delimiter can provide you as a parent with kids in the car! Daycare centers in ten states are pre-ordering Delimiters by the caseload. The military is studying Delimiter applications to counter LRAD, (Long Range Acoustical Device), weaponry.

 Operating the Delimiter is simple and easy.  The micro ear piece comes with a personalized remote about half the size of a small cell phone. Volume adjustment, treble, bass, tremolo and the latest audio delimiting technology - "Blind Screech Control", (BSC),- are all part of the advanced mechanisms integrated into this first-of-its-kind technology. Future versions will include a mobile app that will operate within a 5 foot radius of the user and will transmit/receive the signal without the aid of an ear device which should be ready in three weeks.

The Noise Delimiter is under $29 and includes free shipping. We implore the citizenry of the world to Delimit themselves to a more balanced and happier state of being with "pro-selective"(pat.pending), hearing through the use of the Noise Delimiter. ND Inc. is committed to fostering a climate of stress free hearing in a stressed out age. NDI believes that having a pro-selective hearing offense is the best defense. We are beta testing future prototypes in high annoyance and noise challenged climates and we look forward to letting the people of earth hear on their own terms - not on the terms of unwanted noise.