Fun with Bicycles

Bicycles are fun and an integral part of life when operated in the proper manner. It's the accidents and misadventures - intentional or otherwise - that might set you back. They really don't come with a user manual so creative uses of the bicycle usually take precedent. There are laws for bicycles however they are rarely enforced which leaves the bicycle as one of the last forms of true and free expression in public spaces.

 Bicycle uses include delivering things, acrobatics, getting to work, exercise and getting from point A to point B. You can get a DUI on a bicycle but chances are you'll get a ticket for improper light equipment first. Pay the ticket or they will suspend your drivers license. When pedaling very fast, make sure you don't look down for too long - you might end up in the air doing a one and a half gainer from the trunk of a parked buick, landing on your back on the hood of the car. After what seems like an eternity, your trusty bicycle will fall directly in front of you in a heap.  If you were travelling fast enough, and you are riding a Schwinn Le Tour 12 speed, you might be lucky enough to have only one clean point of impact - only bending the frame, allowing you to re-attach a smaller front tire. Switching to a beach cruiser is recommended after incidents like this. 

Getting to work on a bicylce is always preferable as long as the distance to work is less than a few miles. I have met people that have ridden their bicycles from Miami, Fl to St Augustine, Fl - they were a wreck and so were their bikes. Riding through rush hour traffic is always fun and it generally aggravates automobile drivers. The above mentioned Scwhinn Le Tour used to get me to community college faster than a car, so I rode it to work. In dire situations, your bike can be used as a weapon. The bicycle can be thrown at attacking dogs or used as a defense mechanism from attacking humans. It can also be utilized as a quick get away in hostile situations. If projectiles are being cast, you can easily swerve away from them. Alternate paths are also much easier to negotiate. Riding your bicycle to a bar eliminates all worry of legal entanglement. Bring your dog, he'll appreciate watching all the fine people come and go as he's tied to the bike.

Bicycles are good for your health and driving less in cars is good for our sanity. With gas prices exploding, maintenance and insurance issues, the bicycle is a great alternative. How do you feel after a bike ride? Chances are, better. How do you feel after driving for an hour? Chances are, worse. I say - Give me the bike- and I'll be just fine.





 

Rant University Spring /Summer Schedule

Rant University   -     Spring /  Summer 2014 Course Offering

In the spirit of instructing students in the realities of the world external to academia, Rant University is offering a unique opportunity for registrants to take a two semester certification program in aspects of modern day life that are typically not taught in mainstream academics.

Upon completion of the two semester program, students will have the opportunity to sit for the RLAT - Rant University's Real Life Assessment Test. Upon passing the RLAT, the student will now be certified in real life situations and circumstances and will be better prepared to meet these challenges in our fast paced and ever changing society. (Schedule and course descriptions below)

SPRING 2013

FINANCE

Credit 4005 - Why you really don't need credit and how to not end up in a high interest revolving debt nightmare  (3 credit hours).

  - This course reviews the illegal and predatory lending practices that are typically foisted upon students and the working poor and how to avoid them. It also provides form letters for complaint and little known secrets to challenge any alleged debt.

Home Mortgages 4010 - How to get a reasonable mortgage and how to stay in your home when you are behind on the payments and fully leveraged. (3 Credit Hours).

  - This course, a first of its kind, is an in depth study of banking practices in the mortgage industry and how they can be countered in your best interest. Learn about  mortgage modification programs, how to structure letters to your mortgage company and creative ideas for Profit and Loss statements.

LEGAL 

Legal Counsel  5005 - Do you really need to hire that attorney and if you do, how to fire him and find a better one. (3 Credit hours)


  - In this course, you will learn how to hire an attorney, what questions to ask and how to negotiate a reasonable fee structure. You will also learn when to fire the attorney , your legal right to counsel in criminal situations and when to represent yourself and when not to. You will learn about the typical amount of work an attorney actually does for you and how to negotiate billable hours.

Incarceration 5150 - You have been jailed and or detained, now what? (3 Credit hours)

 - During this study, the student will learn what to expect and how to handle being jailed or detained.  Know what to expect during intake, reception and cell assignment. This course will teach you how to carry yourself with confidence, how to look half crazed and angry and generally how to handle yourself amongst the criminal population and not be interfered with during your stay.

SUMMER 2013

TRANSPORTATION and EMPLOYMENT

Automobiles 3050 - How to buy a car with less than perfect credit and how to deal with idiot mechanics. (3 Credit hours,  2 Credit Hours Lab, 5 Credit hours total)

 - Probably the most important instruction offering in the curriculum, Automobiles 3050 goes in depth with step by step instructions of how to buy a car and not get ripped off, what to look for in a competent mechanic and how to deal with insurance companies and alleged mechanics who see you as nothing more than a walking dollar sign.
     - Our auto lab offers basic instruction in diagnosing common problems through hands on experience with belts, hoses, fluid levels, electrical issues, brakes and preventative maintenance.

Employment 3075 - Finding and keeping a good job, dealing with unexpected lay offs and changing industries. (3 Credit hours)

- This instruction will show you how to find suitable work, prepare you for the lies, misdirection and general BS in the world of employment. Learn to continually re-invent yourself and your skill set. 

PERSONAL HEALTH AND WELL BEING

Medical and Family Issues 6075 - How to deal with medical doctors and their staff, the "practice" of medicine and health insurance issues. Also- raising teens, how to keep them busy and let them know their role in the family unit. (4 Credit hours)

- This course will go over all of the ins and outs of doctor appointments - how not to wait more than 15 minutes, the re- billing procedure for waits of more than 15 minutes, how to handle doctor arrogance and prescription protocol in your best interest. The family section focuses on teens and how to keep them busy and tired as well as incentives for academic performance.We get into the mind of the teenager and understand their motives so you can relax and learn to expect the unexpected.

Maintaining Sanity in an Insane World 6085 - How to keep from committing violent felonies, understanding 'trigger' mechanisms and learning to appear in control. (3 Credit hours)

 - You will learn to address uncontrollable feelings of rage and violence toward your fellow man, why alcohol is not the solution and creative ways of forgetting the daily assaults life brings you. This course also explores the underpinnings of the rigged system, how it wants to bring you down and case studies of individuals who have distanced themselves from the din of the rabble.


Rant University greatly appreciates your participation in our RLAT certification program this Spring and Summer and looks forward to seeing YOU on Campus! 

Unknown Intruder Locks Down Building

Unknown Intruder Locks Down Building Demanding Answer


An unidentified Florida man has gained access into a local employers security system and has locked down the building demanding an answer from the employer. Apparently, the man was not armed and presented no immediate threat to the over 200 employees at the facility.

The man, according to sources within the building, is an unidentified out of work Floridian that "...just wants some answers and wants them now.." after allegedly being told by the employer that he would be informed last Friday in regards to a position that that he has done two interviews for. The man also stated that he has spent one and a half days driving and interviewing for the position and has incurred a fuel charge of $40. No employee has been able to enter or leave the building for the last eight hours and management is meeting to try and configure an answer for the man who has reportedly said  "...Time is not the issue here, answers are.."

Management is working feverishly to try and come up with a solution for the man and end the situation without incident however with the newly reported cases of cranial rectal inversion in the company, a quick resolution is highly doubtful. Third party negotiation teams are being flown in this evening to assist the management and ownership team in getting the answers the man has asked for. It is a complicated situation, some of the answers the man is demanding are "When will you make a hiring decision?" and "Will I be granted a third interview opportunity?" Upper management is at a complete standstill as to the nature of the question and any possible answers.

The local police have the situation contained and given the nature of the incident, the SWAT team has not been called out.The man has ordered pizzas for the employees, (at the company's expense), and is being hailed a a 'local hero' from the denizens of unemployed and answer seeking individuals across the country.  Local responders are also beginning to empathize with the man citing lack of overtime and relatives that are in the same situation.

The man has stated that the building will remain locked down until he gets an answer. Employees are beginning to sympathize with the mans plight saying that the company has always refused to make decisions of any kind and that some of them don't even know why they work there- they just show up, pretend to work and get a paycheck. They have seen their employer act this way before yet no one has ever done anything about it and they are hailing this action as a "first" and "long overdue". Workers are calculating the extra hours spent at work during the crisis and will demand equivalent time off after it has been resolved. Everyone seems willing to wait for answers from management and are hopeful the third party negotiators can help resolve the situation by this evening or tomorrow at the latest. 

Side Effects



Pharmaceutical Drugs have an average of 70 side effects or 'drug reactions', with some as high as 525. The listing of these side effects is done to prevent lawsuits against the manufacturers rather than to protect people from them and I believe mainly done to advertise the drug. The most complex labelling can be seen in drugs for psychiatry and neurology, primarily for anti depressants.

The commonly accepted reason for stating all these side effects is for liability however I think it goes deeper than that. It's repetition, attention and acceptance. The side effects are repeated endlessly every time you see mention of the drug. This allows your brain to be conditioned, through repetition, to associate the drug with the condescending speech patterns and intonations of the speaker. Notice their hushed, deep tones and the authoritarian manner of speaking. The next phase of repetition is the daily barrage of advertising for these drugs. They club you over the head with it repeatedly, day after day.

The attention factor comes into play with the glowing scenes of beaches, vacations and trips to New Zealand. This is pure cognitive dissonance- showing something completely unrelated to what is being presented to get you to accept the original intention. Cognitive dissonance theory states that we have an inner drive to hold all of our attitudes and beliefs in harmony and avoid disharmony, cognitive dissonance occurs when there are conflicting beliefs or behaviors that lead to behaviors to reduce the discomfort and restore balance , i.e.- taking the advertised drug. Your attention is captured by showing you scenes of life that everyone either wants or aspires to attain. Long walks on the beach, birthday parties and beautiful scenery are all part of the set up for the cognitive dissonance they are laying on you.

Through repetition and attention you have now unwittingly accepted the drug proposition in your subconscious mind. The side effects have now become part of the packaging and the repetition of them only further reinforces it. The stating of side effects is done to further assault your mind, cause cognitive dissonance and get you to subconsciously accept the idea of finding out more about the drug. This is done intentionally through statements such as ..may cause internal bleeding...bruising...a tendency to gamble...uncontrolled sexual urges.....death...these are all shock value statements designed to create fear and grab your attention. Your brain wants to restore harmony from these vile conditions through cognitive theory and thus accepts these conditions as something that has to be dealt with- whether they apply to you or not. I believe that the side effects and the stating of them are more important in the advertising of the drug than the drug itself. The call to action is in the side effects as well as the attention gained through cognitive dissonance and repetition. The fear created through these aberrant advertisements is palpable and a primary motivator to get you to "..ask your doctor", about the latest big pharma drug push. The drug cartels of the 80's and the Mexican cartels of today have never been this ingenious in pushing their chemicals onto an unwary public.

Aphorisms

Aphorism: 

1: a concise statement of a principle

2: a terse formulation of a truth or sentiment : adage

-Expect the worst, pray for the best, be happy somewhere in 
between.

-Sleeping until 10:30 is not wrong if you are awake from 3:05 until 5:15. 

-Chance favors the prepared, the prepared usually have a hidden advantage.

-Most interactions with people are about one person trying to get over on the other except in the rare cases of real communication, typically with a spouse or loved one in which case they might still be trying to get over on you..

-The Dalai Lama makes infinitely more sense than the Pope - and he's got a cooler robe.

-Hardship does not make you a better person - just more irritable.

-A valid drivers license is second in importance only to a roof over your head.

-Aggressive stupidity is worse than mental retardation.

-A good attorney is worth the price, a bad one will make you want to commit more crime - against the bad attorney.

-There are no guarantees in life, the best you can do is enjoy the ride- and hope that when your fuel light goes on you make it to the gas station.

-Organized religion is great for keeping people in line- for those that need to be kept in line.

-If unsure, flush twice.

-There are very few absolutes and a very large grey area in between.

-People that use speakerphone are some of the most annoying on the planet.

-Fear takes precedence where experience lacks.

-Going to court is usually a negative experience and to be avoided if at all possible.

-A Syrian merchant once told me "..when doing business in Syria, they F you...at least in the United States they give you a kiss while they are F 'ing you..."

-When your wife comes home and tells you how much money she saved, she is really telling you she overspent.

-Anyone can communicate telepathically -  you just have to live together long enough and in the same space, the problem is not being able to hang up.

-Don't believe the hype.

-A negative attitude can most times be described as being realistic and people have a hard time dealing with reality.

-Money comes and goes - that's why they call it cash flow and calling a plumber might impede the flow.

-It's not what you say - it's how you say it - and when it's said.

-When someone says "huh" or "what'd you say?" - Never repeat yourself, they heard you the first time, be silent and it will register.

-Republican and Democrat are different sides of the same coin - managed and funded by those with the coin.

-Most thing's don't work out - it's how you deal with it that defines you - and realizing the aforementioned.

- A brisk walk through the woods is better than any self help manual ever written - and less dangerous than psychiatry.

-When helping others, be prepared for them to take it out on you- your help might be seen as an attack and they will respond in kind.

  

  

Recruiters

Recruiters for employment are some of the most useless people on earth. They perform a function that could easily be eliminated and given to anyone else in a corporate setting. The idea of a recruiter is in itself flawed and should be eliminated from our consciousness.

The recruiters 'job' is to recommend or eliminate you from a potential position within a company. This is not the case and is the farthest thing from the truth. The problem is that they are so afraid of their job being eliminated that they have no ability whatsoever to make an honest or fair appraisal of anyone that sits in front of them. They are a 'go between' ..an ill defined way station... an unnecessary waste of space and human capital. They are overwhelmed with resume's and the self important nature of their position allows them to actually believe they are capable of making a decision- any decision- on the ability of an applicant to succeed. We would all be immensely better off by running CV's through a scanner that picks up key words, phrases and numbers to be forwarded to a VP or a manager capable of hiring. The recruiters job can be reduced to a simple pre-programmed document scanner which would be better suited to the task.

The personality of a recruiter lends itself to actually believe they perform a viable function. They are delusional at best and wrong most of the time. Internal corporate recruiters are the most delusional and exist primarily as a write off for a company and a head count for medical benefits. Going around them to get an interview is a guarantee of not getting hired, for their self importance has not been properly recognized and placated to. I have seen recruiters "sit in" during interviews which they had no part in setting up in order to be able to feel that they are an integral part of something that was done for them. I have visited corporate recruiters in their little offices and wondered how they justify full time positions and what it is they really do other than fielding phone calls and performing HR functions. These people are actually given their own offices to continue being as useless as possible.

External recruiters are also equally useless and at best, bad actors and as wrong as the day is long.
The typical external recruiter is misinformed, yet tells you he has the ability to find opportunities that match your background and skill level. Ask one of these useless idiots if they read you resume' and they will eagerly respond with "yes..and it looks impressive.." Chances are, they glanced at it and saw an industry they might be able to sell you into like a used car. Be prepared for questions to be asked of you that are on page one of your CV, then to be given  a lame excuse about how 'busy' they are and how many positions they are filling. There is no requirement to be able to read above a sixth grade level to be a recruiter. They simply fake it and never make it. A favorite tactic of the external recruiter is the phone interview. This increases their self importance exponentially...they really believe that they are conducting an interview, when in actuality, they are reading a script that took them six months to master. Thank god the script is only five questions- any more than that and they might have an aneurysm. Don't expect the recruiter to get back to you or give any feed back about your scripted interview, that is well above their pay grade. When called and questioned about their little role play fantasy, they will get nervous, begin stammering and send you an email someone else wrote for them.
I have a great deal more respect for a toll bridge worker than a recruiter, they actually perform a useful function. I don't think recruiters would have the skill set necessary to be a toll taker. It would require a very long re-training for them and a lot of them they probably wouldn't make it.

The obvious solution is to completely do away with any notion of the job title "Recruiter". All recruiters should be mandated to meet once a week in the county or jurisdiction where they live and begin learning to read and write, as well as to apologize for their existence to all who have come into contact with them. Since their occupations have been so harmful to the general public, they should be required to make amends through a mandatory 50 hours of community service.  Any individual that can prove a case whereby a recruiter caused him or her financial harm through incompetence should be able to sue the recruiter in a court of law at no expense to the plantiff. Our society will be much better off and we can all begin to arise from the brain dead sleep of our human energies being tied to aggressively stupid and useless sub humans known as recruiters.