Sunday, May 27, 2012

Transaction Wizard

What does it cost you to leave your house? What is the average cost of leaving your home? I think if we really look into it it would surprise you. Take into account the gas, the average amount of potentially useless items purchased, your time and stress to deal with individuals less qualified than yourself and you will see a staggering amount. Imagine shaving 25% off that total each year, it would probably be enough for a vacation. Savings aside, what about your time and peace of mind?

Living a less transaction filled life is a good thing and is certainly working for me. It's not just about saving money although that is a major part of it, it's about not having to perform a transaction - any transaction. An ATM withdrawal, buying laundry detergent, getting lotto tickets - are all times that can be better spent. Every transaction you perform makes you think about bank balances, bills that are due, income not yet received, and cash remaining...It's an awful thing to have to think about! If we focus on less transactions in our life we will be infinitely happier. "Running" to the store is an activity that needs not to happen. I'm not running to anything except to escape a fire. Try going a day or even two or three without performing any transactions. You will feel like you're on vacation, if you can do it. I have only been able to get to a day and a half so far. Internet transactions also apply, even if you are not physically there you are still performing a transaction, still experiencing the stress filled images mentioned above.

My transaction per day limit is about three, maybe four if absolutely necessary, after that I just shut down. After three or four transactions in a day I feel that I am being nickled and dimed to death. If you're not careful, you will be nickled and dimed to death. It's a death of a thousand transactions, kinda of like carbon dioxide, odorless and silent yet certain death. Hey, lets grab lunch! , OK, there goes $40 bucks...oh, the dog needs food, alright, $22..oh, the printer needs ink....$15  for black only,,,it's endless. Bam, I just spent $100, after the gas, a victim of being nickled and dimed to death.

Performing less transactions is certainly a solution to this madness however the severe cases of transactional addiction require more robust means. The transactionally challenged could benefit from a transaction meter placed near your front door. This meter would be unobtrusive and would record the exact amount of money spent each time one leaves the house. I envision a touch-less card swipe on the frame of the front door that will record all costs associated with leaving the premises.  All you have to do is walk through it  and it reads your transaction card.You simply enter the mileage from the trip when returning and all purchases are downloaded from your credit or debit card, cash entered seperateley. The transaction wizard calculates MPG, maintenance costs, purchases made, etc and displays them on your mobile phone or to email. You now know without any doubt, what it costs you to leave your house! Imagine getting a reminder email saying "..Congratulations!  You have performed 13 less transactions this week and saved an average of $52 ! Good for you!" Historical purchasing and traveling patterns can be utilized for more accurate assessment.  What a great conversation to have! Wow hun...your little trip to the store cost us $360...How do you know? Transaction Wizard baby, Transaction Wizard...

















Friday, May 11, 2012

The New Normal

Normal - a : according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle b : conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern. 


The definition of normal does not include the actions of people today, the workforce or the general attitude of the populace. We are 180 degrees from any possible conception of normal and living in a New Normal that everyone seems to have accepted and embraced.


The first example of this is what I call 'shutting down'. From a corporate to a personal response, the new normal for communication is to simply shut down, not respond and stare blankly.  Prospective employers use this tactic to let you know they are not interested in you. In the past, formal rejection letters were sent to indicate to you to move on and look elsewhere, now it's just a total silence. Total silence - after suited up interviews, power point presentations, documented research and extended, written background explanations are all part of the New Normal. After hours of work, miles of driving and endless phone interviews, the New Normal is to simply never contact you- ever again. Even when the employer is called, texted , emailed and begged for a yes or no answer - they simply shut down and do not respond.  Delta airlines also uses this tactic in the Atlanta Airport to indicate to people that they cannot fly - they shut down- for days at a time. Banks and financial services are also guilty of this lame tactic. They will hound you for days in regards to a payment, you make the payment and don't see evidence of it for days.. While in the employment of a company, the idea of seniority can be achieved within only two years! If you are still around after two years, you are a senior employee! The New Normal for tenure in the workplace has gone from 10 years to two, kind of like the new math, 2 = 10. Ask Continental Airlines where all lost baggage goes, they will tell you- a warehouse in Texas. Ask the TSA where the millions of dollars worth of missing scanners are - they will also tell you - a warehouse in Texas. This warehouse in Texas seems to be a magical place where all lost items end up. I so want to seek out this mystical place and explore it for myself! Maybe all of our tax payer supported bail out money is there too, it is missing after all.. It is the warehouse of the New Normal, a half ass excuse for a place that probably doesn't even exist.



The New Normal is evident in retail and consumer services also. "Pre" tipping - tipping before the service is rendered is ridiculous. A 'pre' tipping requirement should force you to not leave a tip. That would do away with the nuisance. New Normal retail examples include improving something that needs no improvement, like the 'new' Coke - what a disaster.  Not being able to get a decent lunch for five or six bucks is also part of the new normal. You better have at least $10 - $15 if you want to eat lunch. Doctors that put people on Xanax instead of good old fashioned Valium is a deadly New Normal mistake. Xanax has been involved with a very high percentage of drug overdoses in the last few years and is way more dangerous than Valium. It has been proven to cause deadly seizures when you stop taking it and I know people that have been put on Valium to get off Xanax. Renting a house instead of owning has become the New Normal. Almost half of all house dwellers rent. Who can blame them? Every mortgage under the sun is upside down and getting the bastard banks to give you a loan is next to impossible. The New Normal is becoming the New Europe.


In the realm of personal interaction with people, the New Normal will incite rage and cause your blood to boil. Anyone that uses a ring back tone, has a 'song' or 'melody' as their cell phone greeting or has their brat kids screaming into the phone to tell you they are not there, needs to have all phone privileges taken away for at least six months. These abominations have no business using any communication device. Customer service representatives who continually apologize also need to be done away with. One apology is enough. I once counted five apologies in 2 minutes so I hung up. Apologizing continually is a way to insult your intelligence in the New Normal world by placating you to death. The New Normal is also making us stupider by the minute. The 'auto correct' feature that is used while texting a message has been proven to dumb people down and make them worse spellers. Not having to read, comprehend and spell in a half way decent manner has become part of the New Normal. If you like this, then you will enjoy the rapidly approaching day when we simply grunt and groan at each other. I honestly believe the attention span of the average person is about 4.2 seconds. After that, its just a brain dead flat line waiting for the next bright color or loud noise to react to. While walking my dog the other day, I waved at a neighbor whom I know and have spoken to in the past. He stared at me like I had three eyes, a sad victim of the New Normal. He just stood there, in a catatonic state, staring...Maybe his baggage was sent to a warehouse in Texas, he's withdrawing from Xanax and he is an employer who is simply practicing his new method of communication while using auto correct in a text and being apologized to. I don't like him anymore.