I Hate Ironing

I Hate Ironing                                                     

I hate ironing

It is a problem for me

I hate ironing

Pray tell oh can’t you see?

It is an activity that belittles

And makes me very sad

It demeans oneself

And makes you feel not glad

The terrible boredom and menial tasks that were created by the inventor of this ruse, has led me to believe that he too was a foe of humanity’s muse.

The iron is an object of discord and disdain, whosoever shall use it, will see this again and again. Pardon my prose in this atavistic screed, I just cannot stand it, I must be set free!

Ironing is akin to torture, a Gran Mal seizure

And an epileptic fit,

Why should we continue

This truly odious and useless skit?

I have an idea and an iron is involved, simply set it a light and cast it a far

First we must douse it with gasoline, any grade will do, get ready for high speed drama, don’t worry, no one will sue!

While in the car, one must pause and reflect, are we going fast enough for the demon iron to eject?

Using a trusty lighter, the funeral pyre has begun

Light it quickly my friend – it must be well done!

When 80 plus miles per hour is reached

It is time to toss the unsavory item, this useless beast!

Looking in the rearview it will bounce to and fro,

A jumping burning ember, a catharsis completely aglow!

Now if you’re really lucky, the iron will be hit

By a large semi truck barreling down on it.

Raise your fist in victory your nemesis has now died,

You’re not finished yet we must provide its final cry

Rushing back you’ll find

A scarred piece of metal begging to be released

Now the onerous task of burying it has come to you and me,

We will dig the hole deep, of earth, rock and clay

It will be on the side of the road, in an unmarked grave

Once finally shielded, from our human eyes,

Around we will look and from sheer joy we will cry

The iron has died!

The iron has died!       


poetry, real life, rants, ironing, iambic pentameter, haiku, real life rants, steve ricke , stever87, palm coast, florida, writing, writer, Chaucer, shakepseare, amateur writer, I hate ironing, poems