Drive Thru

Drive Thru

  A truly American idea is the drive thru. We have neither the time nor the patience to accept anything less! We need service and we need it now! Whoever came up with the idea is a genius. A holiday should be named in his honor. The only problem is that the natural progression of the drive thru has been stalled. There are many other uses for it.

The logical extensions of the drive thru should apply to other areas of our lives. Psychiatry, for example, would be a great business in which to incorporate a drive thru. Simply drive up, state your issue or problem to the first window, pull up to the second window and get your advice and prescription. I envision these drive thru's as relaxing and ambient...Music can be playing and finely landscaped, calming, drive paths would work well. If your issue or problem requires more than 10-15 minutes to resolve, you can pull into the 'extra assistance' lane and spend an extra 10 minutes talking it through. There can be water vapor and misting to cool people off during the summer heat.  Get your prescription and get back on the road, no time to waste! The drive thru shrinks can charge much less for their services. Anger issues? $20, pay at the window. Lithium Tuesdays! Two for one! Got depression? Mondays are our 'Depressive Mondays' specials, all anti depressants are half off and counseling is only $25 for a full 15 minutes! Never leave your car..

Attorneys would benefit greatly and more of them will have work if legal drive thru's were opened. Their billboards can now read  "15 minutes or less, legal problem solved!"  McLaw can be the nomenclature of the day. After all, how much time do attorneys really spend on your case anyway? Over half of it is dumped on a paralegals desk,  the rest of it goes to the billing dept. "Billable hours" can be a thing of the past. Give us billable minutes instead! Much more efficient and practical. The same configuration of a two window drive thru system will work. The drive paths can look formal, like  going through a court house and up legal stairs... Drive up, state your legal issue, choose from a menu of legal defense strategies and their appropriate cost. Work out a payment plan or get a discount for cash at the second window. Get your court date and hit the road, done.

Drive thru schools can replace ineffective public schools and urban killing zones. Stick junior in the front seat, drive up and let him get his lesson plan for the day. Let junior talk to a teacher for 15 minutes, get it straight and its off to get the homework done! The internet can fill in the blanks. This will teach the young ones the true importance of time.  Let them know there is no time to waste, you must be quick to succeed. Once again, the two window method would work well for the drive thru school. There would be no room for misbehavior, no idle time and a sense of urgency can be ingrained in their young minds. Sporting activities could be ordered through the school drive thru and the tykes can be dropped off at the practice field, giving you more time in your day.

City planners will be able to create entire communities whereby you never have to leave your car. Drive thru groceries, gas, drive thru church's - the possibilities are endless. Instead of golf cart communities, drive thru communities. The extra CO2 produced by idling vehicles will only add to the the vegetation surrounding the drive thru service providers. A lush and tropical world, inhabited by smarter, quicker people that are driving thru the mundane aspects of their lives to a less cluttered life awaits us all in the drive thru community.